sWiRvE

I have a list of 28 secrets and methods you can use in your daily life. If anyone knows me, they know how devious I can be. Most people probably have done at least 10 in their lifetime, but haven’t had the time to write it down or really think about it. Luckily for you I’m here to share with you a HUGE secret. Several huge secrets. It ranges from tricks on MSN, using the power of suggestion, pre-emptive insults, pre-emptive avoidance techniques, wordplay, power control, and even orchestrating grand fiascos. I have used these techniques to make things go my way, and to have things done for me. There are so many ways to lie. There are so many ways to just.. take advantage of situations and people. Cruel? Perhaps, but I never do this to harm. I do it to progress . The best thing about it is that people BELIEVE they’re doing it out of their own will. They BELIEVE they have caught you in a lie, even though you wanted them to. They BELIEVE what you say. If that isn’t hilarious, I don’t know what is. (nothing is more satisfying than someone saying “Yeah I saw right through you.” LOL! )

So! here we go.

Method #1
Hahaha, like I’d ever give up my trade secrets. If people knew, then my methods would be useless. Kind of like magic. I’m magical.

Anyways, the main topic of this post isn’t deception, but my summer. It’s way past half already and here is my report.

Lost 3 close friends.
Gained 1 close friend.
Had 2 jobs.
Quit 2 jobs.
Had 3 over the top wild nights that I’ll never forget.
Had 3 weeks of pure boredom and tedious grinding.
Wrote a short story.
It sucked. It was about a man and his dog. His dog died. And then he died.
Punched someone in the face.
Got kicked in the neck.
Read 5 books.
Played 4 new games.
Was in a relationship.
Now in a relationship.
Still hate a majority of girls.
Still hate people.
Still a loner at heart.
Preparing myself for school.

Interesting summer indeed. 5/10

Also, if the cure for not being lonely is people, why do I still feel alone around people. And more importantly, when someone says they felt like they’ve ‘connected’ with you, isn’t that supposed to be mutual?

I would like to talk about love. I would like to discuss what it is and what I’ve experienced. I really do. However, due to my inability to express what the fuck I’m trying to get out, I’ll pass and move on to another topic I’m really familiar with.

My friend was dumped after seeing a girl for 4 months. He really liked her, and the relationship was going fine. Turned out she decided a relationship wasn’t for her. She didn’t communicate it, but made my friend wait and just plain ended it. For me this week, I lost grip on another close friend. She thinks she didn’t do anything wrong. She can barely remember so I cannot blame her. It’s hard to tell someone that they’ve hurt you when they can’t remember it. When she was drunk, she hurt me in a way I’ve never felt before. I’ve been physically and mentally abused before, but this was new for me. The pain of losing a friend, or even having a friend angry at you could not even compare to this. She unknowingly said a few words that completely devastated me. It cut through me like a knife. If anyone knows me, they know my heart is pretty much made of steel. I’ve been torched enough to have a thick layer of brick around my self. No one gets close, and usually no one remains close. But for a moment, through all the layers I almost felt something different. A kinship perhaps. Mutual understanding. No one has had that with me ever. And then with a swift blow, it all came crumbling down.

 As I was talking to my friend about his loss, I said something surprisingly insightful. I said to him, make sure when you get through this, because I know you will, that you become stronger. It will hurt now, and it might take a while to forget. Just know after all of this, you can become stronger. Not harder. Stronger. I realized that with all my fucked up relationships and problems, I hadn’t gotten much stronger. No, I had gotten harder. Instead of gaining strength and really learn from what had happened to me, I just became stiffer and harder. Instead of having a strong heart, I have a hardened heart. I hope my friend understands that when you get through something tough emotionally, you must become stronger. Don’t let this learning experience go to waste. Build the emotional muscles up. I know a few people who are emotionally weak. You probably do too. No matter what kind of physical or mental front they put up, they will leak emotionally. I won’t get into detail but, as I’ve stated before; Mental and Emotional strength is just as important as physical strength, if not even more in this day and age.

 So if you actually ever get something out of this post, remember this.

 You have a choice to become stronger.