Archive for April, 2008

Summer!

Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008

Summer = Fun
That’s all there is to say about it.

Other than that, I’ve just realized that I shouldn’t stress over people’s uhh… psychological problems (to put it lightly). Even though it affects the relationships around them and my comfort level, there isn’t much I can do. Through experience (most recently) it seems that even if you told a friend in the nicest way something that they’re doing wrong, 90% of the time will result in a bad reaction. I don’t mean “oh you’re doing that wrong”, but “You’re life/ attitude/ perception/ reliability/ thoughts are completely wrong/ misguided/ hindering/ unncessary/ selfish and so on.” Firstly you might think, well how can you be the judge of that? Well I can because what I can’t misinterpret what I see. I’m not overexaggerating or anything. I could just easily list and identify these people and problems, and I’m sure if you knew them you would agree. And most likely if they ever read this, they would go fucking berzerk. Most of the time, these mental blockages are mostly superficial and not really that bad. We all have them. But have you ever met someone with such extreme… problems that it would just seem right to tell them about it? I mean, telling them would help them right?
NO.
You should not. For the greater good (your friendship) unveiling this will do little. People aren’t generally perceptive enough to understand that you’re trying to help them. They come to you with a plethora of excuses and reasons for their behaviour, and you know it’s all bullshit. In my life I’ve always had my brother to cut me down when I was doing something stupid. Very harsh and life scarring, but it worked. I still do stupid shit but, like me and many of my friends, when it comes down to serious situations that require delicate attention, we can pull through easily without breaking a mental sweat.

Before I get to stressed about this, just remember it’s easier to let it go. People rarely change, and when they do, it will be on their own merit. I’ve tried too hard and too long trying to.. ease people into the enlightenment of REAL human thought. Most have been for naught, and it has such a waste of time. I’m just going to have to endure/ignore/accept these people till they really learn what it means to be mentally healthy. As I said before, strengthening yourself mentally is just as important and strenghtening yourself physically. Hell it’s even more so important to strengthen yourself mentally in this world we live in right now. (North American lower/middle/upper class people).

And remember folks, alcohol is the great revealer. It cuts down their facades, and raises truths. Most people will agree with me that when someone gets drunk, when they’re a few drinks from getting smashed and passing out, some truths will be revealed. This and getting them tired. I’m someone who stays up extremely late at night. When I interact with some people at nighttime, their personality is sometimes completely different. There are those who are just tired and grumpy which is normal, but there are those who let their guards down and show me their real thoughts. Some of them get more friendly and outgoing because they aren’t as insecure since they aren’t at full defensive capacity (just like when they are drunk). Some of them get more aggressive, angry, and have a superiority complex and complain all the time (just like when they are drunk).

Career Paths

Tuesday, April 1st, 2008

I haven’t been able to write much lately because of my schedule that’s getting a little more intense, but I don’t think it matters anyways. I think offically 0 people read this now, which is kind of refreshing because I can write a little more personally. I wish I could change the URL and prevent people from seeing but sometimes it’s good to get things out in the open, even if inadvertedly.

Anyhow with university coming to a halt for this year, I’ve been asking myself the same question 90% of university students ask themselves. What the hell am I going to do after I graduate? More importantly what kind of career do I want to get into?

I still don’t know 100% as most people so I’ve decided to do a little exercise that I cooked up. I basically list my interests and strengths as fast as possible without thinking and see where it leads me. Here I go!

I like to multi-task alot. Single projects bore me and doing the same thing over and over would probably kill me. I’d like to work on alot of projects, and ofcourse these projects must have deadlines. Under pressure I work alot harder, however I never do things as ordered.

Most of the time I like to cut corners, but I’ve been known to think outside (sometimes too much outside) the box for coming up with solutions.

I’m not good at working with new people, but have a fantastic ability to work with people I eventually get to know. I’m good at understanding group dynamics and being able to talk to someone one on one. When I really try to understand someone I can do it easily as putting myself in their shoes. Eventually by learning strengths and weaknesses of a person I can develop a good strategy to complete the task at hand easily. Although I may not be the most skilled person in the group (I rarely am) I can usually rally them together.

It has to be new and quite cutting edge. I like to speed at everything I do. When I’m really trying I rarely take the slow approach. I can be methodical and good at completeing small objectives to reach a higher standard, but I really love speeding through and watching the progress fly. Perhaps this isn’t so good when you’re needed to do something that requires a strong structure.

I am very adapative and love to change on the fly. Relating to above, I like working on multiple projects and the switch from task to task is refreshing.

In terms of organization I am quite chaotic, but I find lately that in my chaos there is actual order. Order I can only understand as everyone else who looks in sees nothing but a cluster of nonesense.

When it comes to making decisions I can be very logical. This is a farily new ability I’ve developed (maybe only a year or more). Although the common people in my life cannot see it, through the fog and mask of emptiness that is my head, when I try you can see the logical processes that take place. Although (see logic trains), sometimes they can be wayward, they usually reach the end goal more or less.

 I suppose a problem people will have with this is that they cannot accept the adaptive and changing nature that is me. Once people get a clear picture of who I am, and I start to change, it is disturbing and really doesn’t let them see who I really am. People like to label and put meanings on things so it would be difficult to do so to me. So in that sense, I usually show people one side of me. (on a side note, to my trusted friends I usually show 2-4).

I love to create things and make things from scratch. My concepts almost never reach full maturity and completion, but when it does it’s usually something I’m very proud of. The visions and things I see in my head are probably the greatest tool I have in that empty head of mine. I believe that if these visions and concepts were ever to reach light and be understood and created, I could probably successful in whatever job required that. However due to my lazy and lackluster focus I find this hard to do. It’s near impossible to show what my end goal is, so I’ll use my rallying abilities to make people do what I say in the sense that they are important and at the end they’ll finally see it. I suppose that’s why I like working on multiple projects.

Phew, that’s pretty much it. Although it may seem right now like an advertisement to how great I am, it isn’t much. If you really think about it, anything that isn’t there is a weakness. I’m terrible at many things, but focusing on what I’m actually confident and good at will be great in deciding what I want to do in the future. As I look through these things… I have yet to come to a conclusion of what I want to do. Psychology seems to only encompass 2-3 of these things. Anyhow, I’ve gotta go study for my exams so I’ll see you (which is myself) till then.