Hey, it’s been a while hasn’t it..
I’m sorry for the delay, I guess it’s been a while since I’ve written to you. You know, I’ve been thinking of you recently as it’s been nearing our anniversary. How are you doing? I hope you’re doing well. It’s funny how I still miss you to this day, and how much I still remember. I thought the passing of time would have helped, but it hasn’t one bit. Oh for sure I forget a little more, but other than that every time I do remember, it’s just as hard to deal with. Not that dealing with you is a hassle!! My family life is a little better, and so is my academic life. I do struggle here and there but things in university are doing quite well. I forget where you said you wanted to go too.. it’s been too long. It was UBC right? Some geography major where you’d study boring old rocks all day. So it turns out I’m going to summer school this year… I’m in 2nd year now. Psychology if you have forgotten! I hope you haven’t. I haven’t forgotten our promise as well. I visit that old tree every day when I come home from school. Anyways! Having a hard time wondering what to say here.. Do you remember the time we both happened to skip on the same day? It was really fun meeting with you and just laughing about nothing. We were so similar. That’s probably why we had our little fights all the time. We were both a little too hotheaded and quick to judge. It kind of makes me sad to think of what would have happened if you stayed. Haha, look at me, always talking about what could have been again. I did that too much in the last letter. And I’m really sorry for not writing to you sooner like I said I would. My life’s been a little hectic. Life’s funny that way.. we make all these plans for ourselves and we end up going somewhere else entirely.
I’m really missing having a cat as company. I wonder if you’re allowed to have pets where you are. Well, as you know my second cat had to be given away. I’ve been so lonely without it. I really want to get another one but the same problem keeps presenting itself. My parents are always talking about moving or renting a factory but it never seems to materialize.
Coco I swear was the only one that was nice to you. Other than me, it shunned everyone else. I’m also glad you were with me when we gave it away. One of the hardest days of my life I’d have to say. The emptiness just stays with me these days.. when I’m tired and in my insomniac phases, I always seem to bring up bad memories. Yeesh, I’m such a silly kid.
Oh, my love life still stinks I’ll have you know. I haven’t wooed any girl just yet. I’m terrible with relationships and I think you were the only one I was ever comfortable with. You accepted me, from bottom up and from side to side. Sigh, these days whenever I get close to someone I just push them away. It’s been so hard for me to accept someone. To truly be able to give in. Sometimes I feel like I can’t live my life without your help. I know it’s been so long but, every time I see someone, I see you. I always seem to get reminded of you somehow. I remember the first time we talked on the phone.. we talked for hours. I can only say that I’ve done that with another friend, but it wasn’t as cool. I think we already talked about her before, and thanks again for listening.
With everything that’s happened and the last time.. we met, it still feels fresh to me. I keep getting controlled by the past. It’s like I can’t take a step forward you know? My friends and everyone I know have flown through their lives, achieving their goals with ease. I feel like I’m still that kid who you used to talk to at night. I haven’t changed much but I really want to do something more. You know I’ll always love you, but lately the dream of living alone with just you on my mind so we can meet someday seems more and more distant. Being alone has become easier and I think of it as a skill now. But everyone says it’s unhealthy and very anti-social. Screw them eh? Haha, well I know you’d want me to live free and just have some fun. “Don’t you dare use me as an excuse” I’d bet you’d say. So I think I’m going to try to forget a little more often. I still like you tho okay? It’s just a little tough being reminded of what I’ve lost. Haha, I’m being stupid again. I’m not going to let myself cry over you anymore, not after all this. I can’t wait to see you when I reach the end. I’ll write again soon.
Rest in peace my friend.